Back from the Brink
by litlcapt
Summary: He was so close to the edge, about to fall over, until the one he thought lost forever showed up on his doorstep. Bobby's thoughts after Dean is saved from hell. tag-Lazarus Rising


Summary: He was so close to the edge until the one he feared was lost forever managed to pull him back from the brink

Characters: Bobby

Spoilers: Lazarus Rising, No Rest for the Wicked

Warnings: mild references to alcoholism

Lines taken from Lazarus Rising and No Rest for the Wicked

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><p>Back From the Brink<p>

He never expected to be rescued from the dark place he had sunk to, the hell of his own making. Bobby had been sinking in a pit of despair since four months ago when they buried Dean. Now it had all changed when the man he considered a son showed up on his doorstep very much alive. There was no way he wouldn't attack, for Dean was dead and he saw that gruesome moment with his own eyes. Even heard his screams from far away as he watched from a distance through a dirty window. But a revenant or shapeshifter Dean was not, no Dean Winchester was as whole as he was a year ago without any of the lasting marks he had accumulated throughout his hunting career. But Bobby was a trained hunter with gut instincts so he couldn't help but throw a little holy water in Dean's face for his benefit.

But all that was behind them as his resurrection became all that more real. It had been hours now since Dean had stepped up to his door, only an hour since he was reunited with his brother and what a reunion that had been right down to the moment when Sam had tried to kill Dean. He couldn't help but feel for Sam for he had the same suspicion. Something Rufus had said to him in passing, something Dean had let slip when he opened his heart in an unusual show of emotion. Not everyone comes back whole; most come back like Ruby black-eyed and demonic. But not Dean even if they all had thought it. Bobby had even seen Sam slip a shot of holy water in his beer for good measure when Dean had his back turned. Dean knew it of course, knowing every one of his brother's actions by heart but decided to humor him anyways. When no smoke came billowing from his brother's mouth and his eyes never turned Sam was satisfied. But then Bobby would have just gone with a simple 'Christo' and ended it there because Dean had enough holy water for one day.

But beside the brother's heartfelt reunion Bobby couldn't help but think about the brink Dean had managed to pull him from. Just moments before answering that phone the first time he had thought about everything stupid. Maybe go out on a suicide mission without the aid of a fellow hunter or even a trip to the liquor store to restock his stores. He had even been thinking back to that one lonely bottle Bobby had not touched in all those four months. The bottle of Jack that Bobby had kept special for Dean in a cabinet under the sink. While the whiskey sounded like a good idea at the time Bobby couldn't bring himself to drink the bottle. No, not when it was rightfully Dean's even after his passing.

So instead of travelling to that one sinful place Bobby had spent so much of his time during these past four months he went with the more logical option of taking his final drink of Jim Bean that remained. That's when the second call came and Bobby could even remember hearing he curse Rufus for disturbing him again but the other hunter's voice was not the one he heard. Bobby had figured all the alcohol had finally pickled his brain when the familiar sound of Dean's deep voice filtered through the speaker. But Bobby wouldn't give into his insanity so hanging up he went back to his desk to research some more about where Sam might have gone. That was the other thing; you lose one son you lose them all.

It had hurt him deeply, more deeply then he had admitted to Dean, that Sam had run off so quickly in his own personal vendetta against the demon that dragged Dean to hell. Bobby would have at least appreciated the peace of mind of a call or perhaps a suggestion that he help on his quest. But no, nothing of the sort as Sam finished burying his brother in the middle of Illinois before taking off. Salt and burn was what Bobby wanted, what Dean would have wanted, but Sam had not wanted to hear it. Maybe that's what bothered Bobby in all these four months. That if Dean's spirit had miraculously escaped hell like his father before him he would be roaming angry without a cause. Or maybe just seeing that body being put into the ground sent shivers down his spine. A father was supposed to leave before his son, a son was supposed to bury his father not the other way around. Maybe that was why Bobby had thought John lucky as he sat drowning his sorrows in the bottle. His sons had laid him to rest, well maybe not to rest so to speak but they had completed the ritual. For Bobby he was the surrogate father who had the unfortunate luck of having to bury _his_ son.

But that was all but a memory now, a terrible memory that would never truly vanish from his mind. Now Dean was back and alive and whole yet troubled Bobby could see. Nobody came back from hell untouched and Bobby could quickly see Dean was no different. He would never admit the nightmares but Bobby could see into his lies. Maybe he didn't remember anything, maybe he could recall every act but Bobby didn't have an inkling of what he must feel. For if his hell was torturous then Dean's must have been filled with horror. In time he knew Dean would either break or mend but for now Bobby was just happy to have him whole standing beside him.

Bobby hated to think of what would have happened had Dean not shown up. Was terrified to think that he may have just stepped over that brink he had been teetering on for four months. Just one more drink and he would be numb but sometimes that didn't even help. Sometimes all it took was being blind drunk passed out on the floor too weak to reach the bed. _What's the deal with the liquor store? _Dean had commented before. _The deal was you ya Idjit,_ Bobby had wanted to scream. Slowing but surely Bobby was stepping back from that edge albeit with baby steps but at least it was something. Now that Dean had returned maybe he could begin to live again.

The brothers once again united, Bobby himself united with the one thing that had sent him to the edge, their life could start again from where it came to a grinding halt. Questions still needed answers, questions about the mystery behind Dean's miraculous return. The edge had been so close in Bobby's wavering vision but finally after all the despair it was fast becoming a memory. A painful dark memory getting smaller as the night went on. They had another hunt, once again returning to the job and destiny each of them held, once again whole. _Family don't end with blood _he had told Dean just four months ago and how true it was. Bobby could finally rest with the thought that his family was once again together, his charges very much alive. Maybe someday in the years to come Bobby Singer would thank Dean Winchester to his face for bringing him back from the brink.

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><p><em>Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, Supernatural and all its characters and story line are the property of Eric Kripke. <em>


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